Maybe next time...

I never got the chance to write about our not-so-great Father's Day experience - the first time we attempted taking Gabe out to eat with us. It's been almost 2 years since Gabe came home from the hospital and up until this past Sunday, we'd never attempted going out to eat as a family. I've now decided eating out is over-rated :) Very much so!

To celebrate Father's Day, Shaun just wanted to be with his family, all together. So we went out to eat at Red Robin, one of our favorite family friendly restaurants because they have a great kids menu, freckled lemonade, balloons, and a loud atmosphere so it doesn't bother anyone if your kid has a temper tantrum. Not that my kids would ever through a fit or anything! Instead on this occassion they were just wrestling with one another in their booth, that's all! :)

Well, there's a reason we haven't gone out to eat before this and that's because I'm afraid it's going to be a disaster ~ there won't be room for Gabe in the restaurant, that something will happen and we'll end up having to bag or suction him, we won't be able to handle the girls at the same time as Gabe, or worse than that there will be a catastrophe that we won't be able to handle. Even typing this I recognize that these fears probably don't sound as 'monumental' as they are in my head, and thankfully to this day there has never been a situation we haven't been able to handle (only by the grace and strength of God).

Unfortunately my worst fears came true, and about halfway through the yummy meal Gabe woke up and must have realized where he was, got extremely tense, which always makes his numbers go out of whack, and began an endless cycle of de-sating and trying to bag him back up. At one point Shaun insisted Gabe needed suctioning and whipped out the suction machine without any hesitation. No one even batted an eye or even heard it, thankfully. So after we suctioned him, he was good for a few minutes, but then quickly plummeted his oxygen saturation levels down (we still don't know why) and Shaun and I had to bag him up again. At that point we knew we had to leave and get out of there.


In case you ever wondered what a "bag" is...

We loaded up and quickly tried to push him out of the restaurant into the car, but Gabe still wasn't keeping his sats up. So Shaun, wanting to help Gabe and stabilize him, stopped the stroller and we just stood there, in front of the restaurant, bagging Gabe. At that point Shaun just wanted to carry Gabe to the car while bagging him and leave the ventilator behind, which was not what I had in mind! I'm a 'blend in' kind of person who doesn't like to draw attention to myself or make myself stand out. Unfortunately, with Gabe, that just doesn't happen. It's something I obviously need to work on and focus more on Gabe and his needs instead of what everyone else is thinking. Another thing Shaun later told me was that in the midst of the crisis I was making things worse by saying "This was such a bad idea... Why did we even attempt this?... We'll never do this again..." At the time I don't even realize I'm doing it, guess it's just nervous chattering.

On the bright side, next time can't possibly be much worse than that, so I guess it's only up from here.

Today we had Lisa back - YAY! - and she came with us to the pool (with Gabe) and later to a baseball game. It was Gabe's first baseball game. And he did much better. It was kind of redeeming to have a good outing with him after that horrific experience. Having Lisa there lessens my anxiety level so much. I pray that some day Shaun and I can take all 3 of our kids out somewhere without fears of de-sating, suctioning, low vent battery, or a tense little guy.