Monday, August 31, 2009

Gabriel

Today at the park, there was a little curly headed blonde boy with big brown eyes... he seemed to be a mischevious little brother, bothering his older sister.

His name was "Gabriel." Many times I heard "Gabriel.... stop that. Gabriel... leave your sister alone. Gabriel... come back here."

He went up to another little girl and pushed her. He got in trouble. Faith walked around saying, "And then Gabriel pushed dat girl. An' she was so sad. An' he got in trouble."

Sad thing is, it wasn't my Gabriel. My buddy was swingin' on the swings with Lisa. Beepin' as usual :) I would give anything to be yelling at Gabe. "Get back here. Leave your sisters alone. Stop pulling their hair." I would give my life for that.

I don't understand why..... Why my Gabriel? I don't wish it was the other Gabriel... but still, why?

I have to trust that there is a bigger picture, that there's a reason, I just don't understand it.

I have to think "Life." This is his life, this is our life. But at least there's life.

7 comments:

Ann said...

Days like you had today are tough. I still have those times when I think about a life with four healthy and typical kids, and I wonder what life would be like. It's a wasted emotion, but I can't help but wonder. Fact is, we'll never know and that hurts.

Hugs my friend.
Ann

Ann said...

. . . I should correct my comment and say "I'll never know". I won't presume to know what the future holds for your Gabriel. Anything is possible.

stitching under oaks said...

Rachel, I'm sure that was a tough visit to the park, but I'm so glad you guys are getting out to the park. You're living life (even though it stings) and it's awesome to see! Keep being real and taking those thoughts and hurts to the Father...only He can heal them. We're continuing steadfast in our prayers for Gabe and your family. How's Brook doing in school? Love you!

Hope said...

Rachel, I also won't presume to know what the future holds for Gabe. I do know God has a plan and He must have big things planned for your Gabriel.

You are always in my thoughts.
((Hugs))
Hope

Anonymous said...

Rachel,
Gabe's life and your life are very important to many people. While it's not the life you chose, there is a reason for all this that only God knows for now. We will still cling to our hope in God's greater plan for Gabe. I love you all and always pray for you.
Mom

Peggy said...

keep your chin up. God dosn't make mistakes. He knows what He is doing. It's in His time not ours. I know Gabe likes to be outside, so I'm glad you all got a chance to go. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Love,
Peggy

Dana said...

My heart hurts for you as well. Know that you Gabe has an important roll to play here. A roll that cannot be played by the typical Gabe.

hugs


"Therefore, once more, I will astound these people with wonder upon wonder. The wisdom of the wise will perish; the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"